I am stubborn.

I talk too much or remain quiet for too long.

I usually second guess most of my decisions. And I believe that those who do not do the same thing ever are either annoyingly confident or incredibly stupid. Or both.

I am insecure. (And although I can talk myself out of being insecure, when it comes to some stuff I’d rather not. I also feed on confidence, but this does not have anything to do with the level of confidence of those around me. I can feed with confidence from a simple song, for example.)

I am afraid of many things, although some of my fears have been pointed out as non-existant by others.

I am curious and curiosity is one of the things that give me courage and confidence for doing most stuff.

I am a bit of an adrenaline junkie. Hence my need of doing stuff which may prove to be damaging to myself, in one way or another.

I am not scared of pain. Unlike happy-go-lucky stuff, pain helps us develop, it helps us become stronger. And fast.

I have a tendency of getting addicted. Not on drugs and booze, however.

I am an avoider. If I can make my life easier by avoiding stuff (usually stuff that bores me) or people (same), I will. Won’t avoid an arguement, though. Arguements give me a great deal of satisfaction.

I argue in ways unknown to mankind. Sometimes unknown even to myself. But by the end of the fight I will have made a usually great, mostly logical point.

I also tend to analyze people and although I don’t understand all their actions, I do understand enough so as to hit them where it hurts if necessary. However, I do that rarely and only when truly necessary so that it’s a guilt-free deed for me.

I lie in order to get rid of some discussions.  Or in order to turn the tables.

I am lazy, therefore if there’s an easy way out of something, I will use it.

I use people. For stuff I don’t feel like doing.

I don’t use people emotionally (or at least don’t intend to).

I consider myself above… playing games and following rules when interracting with people.

I’ve cheated. And they say „once a cheater, always a cheater”. However, it was never for the rush and never without reason or fair warning.

I… wear out. Well, actually the way I feel about people and… stuff does. I can blame the passing of time for this one, though.

I dance with the devil in the pale moonlight.

 

This is what you get. I may not be nice, but I’m not really going for nice. I’m done doing other people’s homework when it comes to me. Because all the bad stuff I have to offer will never be even a quarter from the good stuff. And keep in mind that this is an approximation done by an insecure person, who underestimates herself, as many of you have repeatedly pointed out. So the difference may be even greater.

The idea is that I have a lot to offer, but I’m done giving it for free. What you get is usually what you give + a bit more to stimulate you for the future.

I will not be full of spite, I will not be mean, I will not do any of the not-so-nice above mentioned things because I have some burning desire to do them. And I will not do anything out of revenge. (I am extremely pleased to have met everybody I have met in my life so far and to have learned a great deal of things about and from you. Good or bad, everybody helped me evolve in one way or another. So thank you for that.)

I will be polite. Being polite is being nice without actually offering anything, but having enough respect for yourself and others so as to act in that manner.